ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery

Even though society's view on abortion is split between the two famous "Pro-Choice" and "Pro-Life", liberals and conservatives respectively, it seems that acceptance to this alternative to unwanted pregnancy is gradually increasing.

During my early years of high school I heard stories of older girls who had had abortions. My late years were marked with the circulation of similar stories, this time they referred to some of my closest friends. The same way the stories from my freshman year became tangible situations by my senior year, my view on abortion shifted as well.

In 1999 I attended high school as a freshman. Then I perceived abortion as a quick, easy, and cruel solution to a problem, which had been brought upon by an irrational act. I was only fourteen and my values closely reflected those of my family's and those of the Catholic Church -which I attended regularly. In 2001 I was a junior, and gosh had I grown since 1999! Now my outer appearance reflected my inner thoughts, the ones I had formed as I listened to my parents, my priest, my peers, and my own inner voice. I had collected the values I perceived to be the most valuable and reasonable.

2001 was literally a test on my maturity. One of my mother's closest friends had become pregnant. We were having lunch one afternoon when she decided to break the news to us. She went away with her husband and came back pregnant. No biggie right? She is a successful psychologist, owner of her own clinic, mother of two young men, wealthy, and happily married.

“Lucy, you’re not going to believe what happened to me. I’m fine, and I will be fine. But… I’m pregnant. “

“Awww!” My mother and I awed.

“I’m not keeping it. I’m having an abortion in a week.”

My mother and I were in shock.

During the ride home I thought of what had just happened. I thought of my mom’s friend as somebody who did not fit the profile of a woman who has a valid reason to get an abortion. Why would she do that? Even though I had matured since 1999 I did not understand. I finally figured out that I had become more accepting of certain cases in which abortions should be performed. It scared to me to think of myself as a person who does not know what side she represents. For the first time in my life I did not have a set opinion. Later, I made up my mind about her case. I came to the conclusion that she should keep the baby. The way I rationalized this case was:
1) The fetus was healthy so far – the mother is not running any risk, neither is the baby.
2) She is financially stable and independent – the baby would have everything it needed.
3) She is married – there’s no affair, no rape, nothing! The pregnancy was a product of love between two people. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?
4) Finally, she is 40 – She is not a teenager, aside from her career, next up on the list of responsibility is her family, not school, not an internship etc…

She should keep the baby.

The following Wednesday my mother and I visited her. She lay in bed for a couple of days as she complained about the pain she would go through. When she finally got up from the bed her life picked up as well. She did not mind speaking about what she had gone through, and when she did her voice remained constant. It was clear that she had no regrets. After talking to her a few times I understood why she had done it. Simply because she could! Why do people get plastic surgery? Because they can! Why do people do drugs? Because they can! Why do nations engage in wars? Because they can! It was more convenient for her to get rid of the fetus than to raise another child.

I came to the conclusion that as long as options are available people will take advantage of them. And why shouldn’t they? I mean, if it’s legal, safe, and reflects your own decision. I learned a lesson from this: do not judge a book by its cover. In the sense that in the beginning I thought the woman had to fit a certain profile in order for it to be acceptable for her to have the procedure done; however, who am I to judge who fits and who does not?

Little did I know that my values would adjust even further as I became a senior in high school. One of my best friends became pregnant. Desperate and confused she recurred to me.

“Carol, please do not tell anyone. I can’t pay for it, I don’t want my parents to know, and I don’t want the father to know about this at all. I just need you to help me emotionally and, if you can, financially as well.”

“That’s what friends are for!”

Oh here we go again! Another one who did not fit the profile I had in my head. She had been in the gifted program all of her life, ready to graduate with honors, and now she was pregnant. Because I was her only confidant we had long talks about the situation and life in general.

“People expect things from me Carol. There is no more room in my family for another screw up, my brother took that role a while ago. I need to get this over with and bury these memories deep down in my mind and only remember them again when I have a daughter in high school so I can tell her not to do what I did.”

We had gotten out of school early on Wednesday; it was an early release day. Perfect! We left school, I drove her to the clinic and in an hour we were on our way home.

“Carol, can I stay at your house tonight? I don’t feel well.”

She did not look well. I called my mom and said that her parents had to go out of town and my friend was sick so I asked my mom if it would be possible for my friend to stay with us. My mom fell for it. It took two days for her to recover. I told our teachers that she had gotten her wisdom teeth pulled out and she was in a lot of pain. Indeed she was.

After the dust settled, I began to think what would I have done had that happened to me? Would I have told my parents? Which friend could I trust to help me out like I had helped my friend? I had never been so shocked and scared in my life. I decided to run a search on abortion on google.com so I could understand more about what happens to the woman when she goes through such an ordeal. There is so much information on abortion and how to prevent pregnancy that it is unbelievable! I concluded that women who go through with abortions are very brave, because the description of the procedure is not pleasant at all. As I read it, the life was scared out of me! It made me look up to these two women I knew had gotten abortions because if I ever were to have one I don't think I would ever be able to forget it like my friend wanted to do. It would haunt me for eternity. These two women; however, seemed as if it did not faze them. My friend coped with it by hiding it from herself and from everyone, and my mom’s friend by facing it as if it had been a plastic surgery. This surgery is nothing like getting a liposuction. Although both surgeries remove something from your body and are painful, an abortion is not something every woman does, and those who do I don’t believe are ready to tell the world, at least in one of the two cases that I have witnessed.

Needless to say, college changed even more abruptly my views on abortion. I came into contact with a more diverse population. Not only regarding race or ethnicity (that's what comes to mind most of the time when somebody mentions diversity) but also regarding values. Some of these people have values set in stone, others are like me and learn from experiences and from their environment. Here I encountered many women who had gone through abortions, some even more than one.

One late night that I spent with my best friend watching television in her room she asked me to take her to Walgreens. It was past midnight on a Sunday night. If it couldn’t wait until the morning I figured it must be important.

“I think I need a pregnancy test.”

” You think? I have my keys let’s go!”

I did not hesitate to drive her.

A half hour after we had gotten back the result was positive.

This was my most novel situation dealing with abortion, also the one dealing with a person closest to me. A freshman, honor roll student here at Florida State from a conservative background pregnant. In my mind, even though my values had adjusted a great deal from the time I was a freshman in high school, the “profile” of someone permitted to have an abortion did not fit her. Once again I pondered. No doubt I was horrified with the fact that she was pregnant and that she did not think twice prior to deciding on having an abortion but then I thought if I were in her shoes would I be consider leaving college on my first year because I had gotten into a mess –that nowadays can be fixed in an operation that costs only 270 dollars and takes 1 hour? I think not. Abortion has become more appealing than ever to young women. Why make school harder by adding a child to my responsibilities? After days of thinking about it and dealing with it through my best friend I finally came to a conclusion. I expect too much from me, my parents expect too much from me, my peers expect too much from me. At that moment I decided that I am pro-choice.

I do understand that it is a little life growing inside of a woman and that the church condemns it, and that it is in a way cruel. But is it not cruel to regret a child after it is already born, to give it up for adoption, to neglect it, to see it as the reason why one’s life is ruined?

Times have changed; medicine and technology have evolved. The probability of any complications is extremely low.

"You are the person who has to decide. Whether you'll do it or toss it aside; you are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you'll lead or will linger behind. Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are."
Edgar A. Guest

Pro-choice is the fair to women. It does not force anyone embrace abortion, it only acknowledges the fact that in some cases it is the best option for the individual.