ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery

So this was it, the final draft. I think I only liked the first half of it. Like most of my work, the end seemed to quick. I have a tendency to do that.

But before i begin on the ending, there were some parts that needed expansion.

“Alright baby, I’m off to work; I’ll talk to you around lunchtime. Call your mother, she was asking about you.” Out the door he went. So handsome in his suit.

I like the whole description i gave, but i feel as if i need to add more to it. I couldnt find a good transistion that liked to the ideas i had.

Before he helped me in, he turned and said, “Wait, there’s one more thing I would like to do tonight.” As he spoke, I noticed his nervous giddiness. … He was taking me somewhere I had never been. His palms felt warm, his eyes too blue.

Here, I wanted to add more to how the I felt in that moment. Then talk about the crash, and exactly what happened.

"I dream of him often. Almost every night. He will always be the only man I fell in love with."

I should have then went on and described how she lives now. If she is married or still single.
It was an ending that was too abrupt.