ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery

Even though society's view on abortion is split between the two famous "Pro-Choice" and "Pro-Life", liberals and conservatives respectively, it seems to me that acceptance to this alternative to unwanted pregnancy is gradually increasing.

During my early years of high school I heard stories of older girls who had had abortions, during my later years the same stories that circulated around campus referred to some of my friends.

In 1999 I was a freshman in high school and very convinced that abortions were a quick and easy solution to a problem which had been brought upon by an irrational act. I was only fourteen and my values closely reflected those of my family's and those of the Catholic Church (which I attended regularly). In 2001 I was a junior, and gosh had I changed since 1999! Now my outer appearance reflected my inner thoughts, the ones I had formed as I listened to my parents, my priest, my peers, and my own inner voice, and collected the bits and pieces I deemed valuable and reasonable.

2001 was literally a test on my maturity. One of my mother's closest friend had become pregnant. She went away with her husband and came back pregnant. No biggie right? She is a successful psychologist, owner of her own clinic, mother of two young men, wealthy, and happily married. We were having lunch one afternoon when she decided to break the news to us.

“Lucy, you’re not going to believe what happened to me. I’m fine, and I will be fine. But… I’m pregnant. “

“Awww!” My mother and I awed.

“I’m not keeping it. I’m having an abortion in a week.”

“Oh…” My mother and I were in shock.

We went home. She definitely does not fit the profile of somebody who would be fit for an abortion. Why would she do that? Even though I had matured I did not understand. I finally figured out that I had become more accepting of certain cases in which abortions should be performed. It scared to me to think of myself as a person who does not know what she thinks, for the first time in my life I did not have a set opinion. Later I presumed that I had made up my mind about her case. I think she should have kept the baby. The way I rationalized this case was:
1) The fetus was healthy so far – the mother is not running any risk, neither is the baby.
2) She is financially stable and independent – the baby would have everything it needed.
3) She is married – there’s no affair, no rape, nothing! The pregnancy was a product of love between two people. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?
4) Finally, she is 40 – She is not a teenager, aside from her career, next up on the list of responsibility is her family, not school, not an internship etc…

The following Wednesday my mother and I visited her. She laid in bed for a couple of days as she complained about the pain she was aware she would go through for a few days. When she finally got up from the bed her life picked up as well. She did not mind speaking about what she had gone through, and when she did her voice remained constant. She had no regrets. After talking to her a few times I understood why she had done it. Simply because she could! Why do people get plastic surgery? Because they can! Why do people do drugs? Because they can! Why do armies engage in wars? Because they can!

I came to the conclusion that as long as options are available people will take advantage of it. And why shouldn’t they? I mean, if it’s legal, safe, and your decision… I learned a lesson from this: do not judge a book by its cover in the sense that in the beginning I thought the woman had to fit a certain profile in order for it to be ok to have the procedure. But who am I to judge who fits and who does not?

Little did I know that my values would adjust even further as I became a senior in high school. One of my best friends became pregnant. Desperate and confused she recurred to me.

“Carol, please do not tell anyone. I can’t pay for it, I don’t want my parents to know, and I don’t want the father to know about this at all. I just need you to help me emotionally and if you can financially as well.”

“That’s what friends are for! ”

Oh here we go again. Another one who did not fit the profile I had in my head. She had been in the gifted program all of her life, ready to graduate with honors, and now she was pregnant. Because I was her only confidant we had long talks about the situation and life in general.

“People expect things from me Carol. There is no more room in my family for another screw up, my brother is it. I need to get this over with and bury these memories deep down in my mind and only remember them again when I have a daughter in high school.”

We had gotten out of school early on Wednesday, it was an early release day. Perfect! We left school, I drove her to the clinic and in an hour we were on our way home.

“Carol, can I stay at your house tonight? I don’t feel well.”

She did not look well. I called my mom and said that her parents had to go out of town and she was sick so I asked her if she wanted to stay with us. My mom fell for it. It took two days for her to recover. I told our teachers that she had gotten her wisdom teeth pulled out and she was in a lot of pain. Indeed she was.

After the dust settled, I began to think what would I have done had that happened to me? Would I have told my parents? Which friend could I trust to help me out like I had helped my friend? I had never been so shocked and scared in my life. I decided to run a search on abortion on google.com so I could understand more what happens to the woman when she goes through such an ordeal. There is so much information on abortion and how to prevent pregnancy it’s out of control! I concluded that women who go through with abortions are very brave, because the description of the procedure is not pleasant at all, on the contrary it scared the life out of me! It made me look up to these two women because if I ever were to have one I don't think I would ever be able to forget it. It would haunt me for eternity. These two women, however; seemed as if it did not faze them. This surgery is nothing like getting your wisdom teeth removed. Although both surgeries remove something from your body and are painful, an abortion is not something every woman does, and those who do I don’t believe are ready to tell the world, at least in the two cases that I have witnessed.

Coming to college I knew very well that I would come into contact with a more diverse population. Not only regarding race or ethnicity (that's what comes to mind most of the time when somebody mentions diversity) but also regarding values. Some of these people have values set in stone, others are like me and learn from their own experiences and from their environment. Here I encountered many women who had gone through at least one abortion. However I was not ready to have my best friend tell me the following words:

“Could you drive me to Walgreens? I think I need a pregnancy test.”
“Right away”
A half hour or so later the test came back positive.

A freshman, honor roll student here at Florida State from a conservative background. In my mind, even though my values had adjusted a great deal from the time I was a freshman in high school, the “profile” of someone permitted to have an abortion did not fit her. Once again I pondered. No doubt I was horrified with the fact that she was pregnant and that she was having an abortion but would I be willing to leave college on my first year simply because I became pregnant? If I did, would I regret this child? Could I face my family's criticism for the rest of my life? Could I face my own criticism? After days of thinking about it and dealing with it through my best friend I finally came to a conclusion. I expect too much from me, my parents expect too much from me, my peers expect too much from me. I could never, in a million years, come out and say: “Oops, I’m pregnant!” I would have an abortion no doubt about it.

I now understand that women choose to have abortions because that’s what they want. I understand that it’s a little life growing inside of you and that the church condemns it. However, times have changed, medicine and technology have evolved. The probability of any complications is extremely low.

"You are the person who has to decide. Whether you'll do it or toss it aside; You are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you'll lead or will linger behind. Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are."
Edgar A. Guest