ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery

I choose to go with the fiction story. I like the present tense better, but it's not as easier to write a story in. It reads better on paper and sounds better in my head to me.

I mainly focused on the structure and content of the paper. I didn't add in any huge events, but mainly revised little things that go on throughout the day.

I tried to get off the topic of me so much and focus more on the most important thing, my family: Debbie, Kristina, and Sara. My stock broker, Herb, also had a bigger part in making my decisions and added a little bit more dialogue through the process.

I tried doing what Mr. Lowe told me to do: Show not tell. I especially tried doing that in the last paragraph when the day is all over and my wife and I talk about the mistakes I made and what was at risk.

It was hard to keep going in the present tense as I wanted to say “asked” or “said” instead of saying “asks” and “says”. Overall, I think the changes were good to the paper.