well i picked this story to revise because i really like writing stories more than writing factual or persuasive papers. to revise this time i tried to put in some inner monologue i think thats what its called like the thoughts of a the storteller.
also i changed the order of a few things that i thought helped to make the story a little better. i did however have problems try;ing to write it all in present tense. it doesnt make sense to me.
this story is my favorite of the year so far though. i like the freedom we had from the very beginning where all we had to do was simply write a creative short storya bout anything really. it really allowed me the freedom to pick something that i am very interested in and when you are interested in something and enjoy writing about it it makes your writing that much better.
My final concern for this draft is the use of punctuation and grammar. i know in my first portfolio draft i had trouble with commas so i tried to find places in this draft that i thought might be missing commas. im still not so sure that i have them all. i think with a little more revising and cleaning up this could very well be an A paper,
The Buck of A Lifetime (process memo)
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