I shortened it to 1600 words. Nice huh? It was way too long. I cut out the part about going on an anniversary date. That just seemed totally unnecessary.
I also changed he ending and I like it much better. It is still somewhat cheesy but not to the point where you want to vomit even if you do like cheese. I also attempted to expand on the female characters. I added some past experiences between the two in hopes to expand on their hatred. I don't think that went as well and I’m thinking maybe I should have taken it in another direction. I cut a lot and changed it somewhat.
I kept the tense present as well as kept it in first person. It just felt better doing it that way, not to mention easier. At some parts I had a little trouble, like recalling her dream, but I think it worked out.
I cut the ending down to Valerie’s scream because it created some sort of mystery. The audience can create it’s own ending. I just kept the building blocks.
Shortened thank goodness
tmtollerton's blog | Closed discussion: you can't post new comments.
