ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery

When writing this portfolio draft I took advantage of the Reading and Writing center for students use. I meet with a TA and went over my paper. He gave me a lot of good ideas that I think have helped this paper to bloom in the long run.

The problems I was having was trying to keep the attention of the audience when expanding on this topic. I think that it needs to be revised a little to not be so typical of a haunted mansion. The story follows the life of a girl and her friends that want to visit this scary mansion, but run into the same blocks as do everyone else who visits there.

I would most want feedback on the informal to formalness of this paper. Last time I was having trouble with my writing being to informal so I am trying really hard to keep it on a college level while still creating this story. My biggest problem is the introduction, like any of my other papers; I can’t get the hang of the whole thing so I have started to do it last.

This paper has taken a lot of my work and effort and compared to the others seems to be coming along nicely. I would like so feedback maybe on the story line though.