Good Job
After completing 1000 words to my draft, I feel as though I improved the draft just a little bit. Basically I added more detail so it is easier to visualize what exactly is taking place in the story. I chose not to add more dialogue but instead to just elaborate on the main characters thoughts a little more. It was not very difficult adding 200 more words to this paper. This paper also and to my surprise turned out far better than my other paper on the death penalty. I really did not think it would because I thought my death penalty paper had some strong points however this paper was far more fun and easy to write once I thought of the idea. Then I just went with it. It is not written like a 5 year old because we sort of put ourselves into the story as first person writing and so I wrote just how I speak. It was somewhat difficult changing the time the story takes place to the present. I tried to change it. We will see if it works out or not. Anyways I am somewhat satisfied with this draft. It is I believe a cute story.
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