ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery

I don't like this revision as much as I liked the first draft. I feel that somehow, having to use the dialogue in a first person instead of third person perspective. It just didn't sound as effective. I have always struggled with dialogue in the past. Somehow writing in third person allows me to use less, but make it more effective. I already liked my storyline, and did not have much intention of changing it. I just added a few more details to liven things up. I feel like I did a good job of showing not telling, which is something that I have been working on. I almost feel like there are pictures to go along with my story. The ending is still a little blunt and sudden, but as far as this story goes, I would have to say that the journey is the destination so it doesn't matter.