ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery
Process Memo, Exploratory D2
Written by johnmac on November 18, 2003 - 17:09
I think that I have improved upon my 2nd draft from the first greatly. I followed the rules of the revision assignment strictly and I think I have a good product. It was hard to transition my original story into a different point of view of narration. When I got started on it though, it started to flow nicely and the revision wasn’t too hard. I tried to put a little more dialogue into the story this time also.

It wasn’t too hard to expand the draft to 800 words, considering that my original draft was about 750 words. This second draft came out to be very close to 900 words! So there’s no problem in the expansion department any longer. If I decide to use this draft for my final portfolio draft, I have a few other ideas in mind for it. Basically, I’m going to expand the story and change it around to have some more conflicts and action in the plot.

I most likely will not use this draft for my portfolio draft. Exploratory C I believe was easier for me to flow with than D. I’ll have an easier time with C for the portfolio draft. I’m content with this 2nd draft all in all.
Process Memos
johnmac's blog | Closed discussion: you can't post new comments.
Comment viewing options:
Select your preferred way to display the comments and click 'Save settings' to submit your changes.
Not Too Shabby...
Posted by Roxie84 on November 18, 2003 - 18:46.
It would be even better if you incorporated more of the old country man that appears at the end of the story. His dialogue could become humorous since it relies on colloquialism. It's a really interesting story, but if you don't feel it's adequate, you can work on your Exploratory C.
Freedom
Posted by cci03 on November 18, 2003 - 18:40.
I think your narrative is perfect. It's concise and terse. In other words it's short and clear. For your next draft I would expand on the fact that you're homesick. Maybe include some positive aspects of living with your parents. But overall it's a good text!