ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery

God I love this. This is why I’m alive, this is what life is all about. Screw that greddy family, screw that overbearing boss, screw that cubicle. “Screw that cubicle!” The echo of my scream made me proud that I was alone. This was the first time I had been truly alone, truly alone with my thoughts, with only my needs. It took this for me to realize that I wasn’t happy and hadn’t been happy in a long time. None of that mattered now the only thing that matters now is the rock and me climbing it.

It had been so long since my last time here. My favorite spot as a kid had somehow disappeared from my memory. It’s amazing how one place can influence so much of your life. Yet be forgotten so easily. The beauty of the Carolina forest had molded me into the type of person that I thought I would always be. A free spirit, a man with no cares. Now I had become what I hated the most. A weasel of a man who had no backbone, a man who conformed at the drop of hat as long as I thought it would keep me out of trouble. I worked in a cubicle and came home to a small house with a moronic family. I had to get out, had to be alone to contemplate.

I strayed from my problems at home and focused on the task at hand, 3000 feet of sheer vertical granite. It had been so long since I had been climbing that I didn’t know if I would even be able to tie the right knots. It’s funny the way memories come back, first like a slow trickle then to a steady current, and finally a massive tidal wave. The knots the motions they all came back to me. It was like I was sixteen again I knew exactly what I had to do.

I walked up to the wall and took my first step upwards. Reaching my right hand and placing it on an indentation in the rock. I grasped the rock and letting it’s frigid, smooth surface retrieve even more memories.The lifeless feeling of the mountain reminded me just how dead and uncaring it really was. Whether I made it to the top, gave up, or fall to my death the rock didn’t care. This offered me some comfort, because I knew the rock wouldn’t judge me. Everyone else in this world has always passed some sort of judgement on me. With my hand securely planted in the indentation I pulled. With a creaky groan from my right shoulder my body obliged. I planted my right foot just below my right hand and pushed for the next hold.. Like some beautifully cherographed dance my body followed a pattern precisely. I felt like I was climbing a ladder.

The best thing about climbing a mountain is that all you can think about is the mountain. Nothing from life can bother you out here. If one lets life bother them on the mountain, then life will never bother them again.

I climbed a little more on nothing but instinct. But soon enough instinct had to give way to choice .
I came to a part where the nearest hand hold was about 6 feet to the left of my current position. The only other way to go was down. I thought about it. Giving up would be so easy. I had made almost half way. For a man my age that was quite and accomplishment. Giving up now wouldn’t be so bad. Agreeing with my life, accepting my circumstances. Knowing that for the rest of my life I would be some sniveling ass kiss in a monkey suit. That would be easy, but God knows it wouldn’t be right. I eyed my hold and judged the distance. Mt muscled shook with anticipation, as I cocked my legs into position. I looked and took a deep breath “Screw that cubicle.” The reaction was explosive I flew off where I was and made a full out dive for the hold. My entire world seemed to slow done and the only thing that mattered where my hands and the rock. I reached and with no problem grabber the hold. I hung their for a few seconds letting my adrenaline take it’s course, then pulled myself up to the safety of a flat ledge.

Sitting on the ledge I surveyed what I had accomplished. I had been climbing for approximately 2 hours and had scaled almost 1500 feet. From my perch I could see through the rolling mountains of the Carolinas and realized that I was looking at the most beautiful thing in the world: nothing. It made me think, was I really cut out to be this kind of person? Am I really supposed to be stuck in an office, or in a typical family house? I don’t know maybe only the mountain could answer my questions. I looked up and realized that the hardest part of the mountain is always at the top. I came this far and I wasn’t about to give up without getting the answers to my questions