ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery

I like my story. Yes, it is incredibly corny, but it is also fun and has climax. I love happy endings so of course that is just what I used. I think that I should most likely expand the ending make it a little more descriptive.
Also, the tenses are really confusing. I think I need to probably read it a few more times to make sure I have everything changed properly. It's harder I think I will use this for my portfolio draft, and make the necessary changes.
When the girls are spinning in the air, I think that I could use a little more adjectives and make it seem more realistic. I like the climax and that is great, but it just seems as thought I’m telling.
The relationship between Nikki and I, or Luke and I can be developed. I have no idea where I would put it in since my story is already 1800 words. Lord, I probably out to cut it down as well. The falling can be exaggerated a little more articulately without using is so many times.
This process memo is harder than it looks, I’ve written that I need to expand on a few areas and shorter it. Sort of an oxymoron.