In this second draft of exploratory D we had to change some of the story. First we had to make it first person instead of 3rd and we had to make it present instead of past. By doing this I feel the story changed for the better. I think it made it sound more personalized and it sound a little better too. I also think it was a little easier to write this time. I also feel that a story told in 1st person displays more feeling an allows the reader to relate to them also. If you feel that there is some things missing in the order of the revision assignment please let me know.
After reading some comments about my paper I did change or add some things. One in which I went into more detail about catching the fish and showed it more. So the reading could try to feel what was running through everyone mind and body on the boat. I also tried to give a little history about some of the people that where fishing with us and how we knew them. But if you still feel that the story needs some more explanation or more details in any places. Please let met know.
A dream Come True (Process Memo 2)
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