The revision assignment for this paper was a lot easier than writing in third person. I am really glad that we had to write in third person first and then go back and do this.
I had a lot of ideas for this paper and took more time than the first draft. I used some of the techniques that were shared with us through Ede. I have found that when writing my drafts it is good to go back after sleeping on it and correct the errors. I could have used a lot more dialogue and I also believe that it maybe is to long. The reason why I kept it long is because I like to have a lot to cut out and this draft will need some of that.
The strengths of this draft is because it visits so many different ideas. I had a lot to say and ideas kept coming so I just made it all work together. A really big concern of mine is that this is to informal and I will get penalized for that. The text and word content will need some revising but I would really like to find out if it is to informal so that I can make adjustments according.
Process Memo- D revision
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