ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery
Home Is Where The Memories Belong - Process Memo
Written by cci03 on November 13, 2003 - 17:40
Honestly, this narrative was the hardest thing I ever had to write for this class. I thought that writing about Draft C from the opposite point of view was hard, but I was wrong.

I don’t think I was creative at all. Cara? That’s like 2 letters away from my own name! She goes to school here? What’s wrong with me? I’m sorry group member, and those who end up reading my short story, I just didn’t know what to write. I stared at the computer screen for thirty minutes trying to pick a topic from that exercise we did in class. I looked at pictures, magazines, I visited friends… I am so sorry. I hope that by next class I will be able to improve on the narrative.

If it’s not too much to ask I would like to receive some feedback on the following points:

1) Should I elaborate more on describing the scenery of the story or should I cut some of that part out and go straight into Cara’s expectations?

2) I didn’t want to write too much so I kind of ended in a way that I am not happy with. I want to be able to find the direction in which this narrative is going. Where should I take Cara and her story?
Process Memos
cci03's blog | Closed discussion: you can't post new comments.
Comment viewing options:
Select your preferred way to display the comments and click 'Save settings' to submit your changes.
Re: Home
Posted by cel4145 on November 16, 2003 - 10:00.
1) I would think that more development of Cara should be your guide since the focus is on her. Perhaps other things, like the marijuana incident, which help the reader to see who she is. And for example, where the reader finds out about Cara thinks about Anthony. We get insight into her as a person from the 2nd half of paragraph 4.

2) "Where should I take Cara and her story?" Why not clue the responders to your draft in on what you have in mind already, or what alternatives you might be considering?
Is It True?
Posted by Roxie84 on November 13, 2003 - 19:55.
Some of your character’s situations seem as if it actually happened—to you (did they?). And even though you might think that you weren’t at all creative, you managed to write your draft with a promising start. You searched for inspiration, so you weren’t entirely devoid of creativity. So what if your character’s name begins with a “C”, too? If the name fits, it should stick. One thing that I should mention is that your story seemed thrown together. It didn’t have a logical progression to it. For example, the fifth paragraph is too scrambled with information that doesn’t need to be there. If the story involves her going back to her boyfriend, there is no need to write about the marijuana incident. That could be a story in itself. And what is Cara’s real reason for going back home (besides to see her parents and boyfriend)? Maybe she wants to tell them something (could she want to drop out of school? Break it off with him?). Make her have strong motivation for going home. And your ending is just dying for more --- I found myself wanting to know what’s going to happen between her and her parents.

To answer your first question, I think you should focus on Cara’s expectations. There is only so much you can write about the scenery, but if there’s a way to incorporate that into her thoughts, it would be nice. And, as for your second question, write about the confrontation between her and her parents. Make it something so big that it affects the relationship with her boyfriend (these are just suggestions—don’t take my word for it!).