ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery
Process Memo: Inferno
Written by DHW03 on November 13, 2003 - 11:19
I feel that the strengths of my draft come from the fact that I used journal entries from my grandfather who was a gunner in a B-29 during world war too, “Able #1 got a direct hit at the base of left wing. Immediately burst into solid flame, wing buckled up…..” So these entries really allowed me and the reader to know how he felt, and what exactly he experienced during his tour. Also the fact that World War II is one of my favorite history topics too is strength, because I am able to pull little bits of the things that I have seen, and adapt them to my story.

My weakness though is the facts that since I was not around during the way, I have to rely on my grandfathers entries, and I don’t really know what the war was really like. Sine my grandfather is not longer around, I can not get any of his stories first hand, which is a weakness, since I could probably get a lot of stories from him.

In the future, I think that I will enter twine my own story with more of my grandfathers journal entries, so that my story doe shave some veracity.

I think that my story is very clear and easy to understand, but a further draft could probably be a little more descriptive in some parts, but I don’t know where they are. So I would appreciate any comments that would tell me where I could improve my story.
Process Memos
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Re: inferno
Posted by cel4145 on November 16, 2003 - 14:13.
Neat idea about using the journal entries. The question is whether, then, you are writing historical fiction where you want to keep most of the facts straight as you know them, or be more creative. The reason I say this is that if you are merely using those journal entries as a tool to come up with something more creative, then be willing to revise those entries as well so that they best suit the story.

About your "weakness," well, that depends on what what you are trying to do here as in my comments above. On the one hand you might try to bring out who you imagine your grandfather would have been as a person at that age. Or, you might choose not to write strictly about your grandfather and develop the character in new directions. Note that developing the character more may not require a lot of knowledge about WWII (which is just the setting, right?).

"In the future, I think that I will enter twine my own story with more of my grandfathers journal entries, so that my story doe shave some veracity." Or, create the scene from a journal entry. Use it as the basis to create the story, but don't include it in the text. That might work well for you too. Either way.