I think my essay is informative, but does not go into too much detail about the serious situation of piracy. Looking back, I feel that I should’ve added some more commentary on both sides of the argument.
I now notice my arguments are a little one-sided, so I plan to fix that by the next draft.
I will also expand each paragraph the same way we did in exploratory B so that my paper will be long enough to edit and take useless information out.
I think my giving an example of the frivolous nature of downloading music from an episode of South Park that premiered last night help strengthen my argument.
I think that I should add a few more topics of piracy like downloading pictures and even books. Piracy is a broad category and can be expanded more.
Also to further strengthen my paper I could add some statistics, such as how much profit artists because of piracy lose and how the government actually pans to deal with this problem.
The ending adds more of a solution to the problem instead of an appropriate rebuttal that it should have. Even though it is a good ending I thing I should at least add a solution for the other side of the argument.
Process Memo for Exploratory C
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