ENC 1101-B3 & B4: Writing for Discovery

Seems these days in this close circle of my blurty friends the Sims are spreading rapidly. I have joined the revolution and am in the online regiment. Last night my roomate said he found some extra money so he re-subcribed to The Sims Online and since each of us had our own copy of the game, we're sharing the pass for onine. Other news is that this is my last week of classes and next week is just finals. I should be home by next Saturday, so you special people(Gaby) who I just gotta see, now's your chance. My room is actually clean for a change and very nicely organized. My room had space to move around in it now, I'm still not used to it. LOL. If any of you ever get Sims Online, my name there is QuickSilver and I live in Blazing Falls. I might go to a friends house this weekend up here, cuz she wants me to party with her since her birthday was last week and this'll be our last weekend up here for the year. If I go, I'll definitaly be off the wagon, the alcohol will flow through me like blood.LOL. Sorry to those who wanted me to calm down on the drinking, but this will be an exception, seeing as that I have been sober for two weeks. So let me have my fun and don't hassle me about it. As for school, I'm only gonna pass two of my four classes, so I'll have to re-take the ones I failed in Spring and I might use one of my forgivenesses so my GPA doesn't get that much of an asswhoopin. In Spring I'm going to be one of those nerdy guys and study my ass off, because I do not wanna mess up here and have to go back to Homestead and attend a shitty-fuck of a school know as MDC. I've been talking to "important" people on the phone, which since I rarely talk to people on the phone is a big stretch for me. Well you important people know who you are.

My eyes begin to open and I glare at my alarm clock, it reads 7:15am. Oh no, I’m late! What am I going to do? No time for a shower or breakfast. A few dabs of cologne will do the trick. Good thing I live so close to the school, I should be able to get there in five minutes.

My eyes began to open and glared at my alarm clock, it read 7:15am. Oh no, I’m late! What am I going to do? No time for a shower or breakfast. A few dabs of cologne will do the trick. Good thing I live so close to the school, I should be able to get there in five minutes.

I believe that my final draft contained a great amount of interior monologue just as the previous one did, but I also added some more.

I also added a whole new paragraph that adds into the story more and changes the story a little bit. From what my group members had to say about my draft I was surprised that they liked my story so I left it mostly the same and just added a few little extras so that the story would flow a little better.

My eyes began to open and glared at my alarm clock, it read 7:15am. Oh no, I’m late! What am I going to do? No time for a shower or breakfast. A few dabs of cologne will do the trick. Good thing I live so close to the school, I should be able to get there in five minutes.

This draft I feel that my essay is more in-depth due to the different view through first person. Although the transition from third person to first person was pretty hard it ended up giving the story a different and more interesting perspective.

My eyes began to open and glared at my alarm clock, it read 7:15am. Oh no, I’m late! What am I going to do? No time for a shower or breakfast. A few dabs of cologne will do the trick. Good thing I live so close to the school, I should be able to get there in five minutes.

I noticed my draft lacks a bit of originality and I could have gone more into detail on each of the characters. Also I could have added more of a conflict so that reader would have more of an interest in reading on.

Two mysterious strangers enter the classroom. The men had an evil aura about them. They walked over to the teacher and whispered something in her ear. Moments later the teacher says, “Billy will you please come up to the front of the classroom?” Billy slowly gets up out of his seat and walks halfway to the front and stops—then he suddenly bolted towards the window and crashed through it. The two men rush towards the window and look all about the ground; nothing or no one is in sight.

I’m here sitting in my room on a Friday night. What has become of me? What happened to the guy who partied every weekend and drank his ass off? I’ll tell you what happened to him, he’s dying. With the semester coming to an end he’s putting all his effort into turning himself around. This doesn’t mean the outgoing partier is gone for good, but he is on a vacation.

In John Seely Brown’s article,Growing Up Digital , he relates the invention of the web to that of electricity, which is a great analogy. John Seely Brown talked about how the invention of electricity changed everything from entertainment, when people ate and went to bed, just as we do nowadays with the web. Many nights I find myself online until the wee hours of the night/next morning.

I feel that my second draft had improved substantially over the first draft due to my mistake of not doing the whole first draft from one point of view. The second draft is totally from one side and I objected the side I agreed with the most in the first draft.

Issues such as war, violence and abortion are major, yet neither of those topics stand out as much as one topic in particular that is so widely over exaggerated that it becomes frivolous. This topic is piracy. Is piracy the root of evil or a fast and efficient way to download something desired? It’s probably the easiest and most used way to obtain music.

I think my essay is informative, but does not go into too much detail about the serious situation of piracy. Looking back, I feel that I should’ve added some more commentary on both sides of the argument.

Issues such as war, violence and abortion are major, yet neither of those topics stand out as much as one topic in particular that is so widely over exaggerated that it becomes frivolous. This topic is piracy. Is piracy the root of evil or a fast and efficient way to download something desired? Maybe it’s a little bit of both.